The Battle of the Bed

Background: Every night, it’s a race to see who can get i to bed first. My husband and I are early birds; in bed between 8:30 and 9:00 PM. We have our routine down, and I usually end up getting in bed last. However, every night, I always end up in positions that triggers my insomnia. The following will hopefully explain and be entertaining for you, as I laugh at my situation….

“The Battle of the Bed”

Wash out the dogs’ water bowl
While brushing the teeth and gums.
Debate over whether the fan should be on
Or left off for the body to go numb
From the freezing cold of the desert night.

Must remember to take meds
And rinse the mouth guard clean.
The husband is already sneaking
Under the covers; he’s so mean
To leave me to finish up in the bathroom.

One dog already curled into a ball
On the center of the bed,
As the other waits for me to slide in
And to hear the invitation to be said:
“Come up. Right here. Lie down. Good girl.”

The husband is stretched out
On his side of the bed.
One dog in between us, while
The other’s head is like lead
On my tummy, snoring.

My legs are pinned in
By puppy on either side.
A head to my left, breathing,
And a butt to my right, I cried,
“Please don’t let this one fart.”

Claustrophobia greets me;
My legs going numb.
My boys both are snoring;
My girl, twitching, succumb
To the Sandman.

My feet are all sweaty,
As I wiggle and writhe
To free my legs of their prison
Made of blankets and puppies. I hide
My discomfort as puppy eyes open.

My captors stare at me;
Their eyes all a glow,
Possibly wondering why
Mommy’s moving so slow.
My hesitation is my biggest blunder.

One dog returns to his snoring slumber,
While the other rise and turn
To head for the bed’s foot
To find a spot; only to return
Her full body weight on my legs.

I sigh and admit defeat;
The husband wins yet another night
Of deep sleep and slumber,
As I stare into the phone’s light,
A prisoner of war in bed.

© Elle Short Stack Story Time 2015

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