Starting three weeks after the wedding, my husband and I were already receiving the infamously annoying question: “How’s the married life?” At first, both my husband and I would say, “Fine,” “Great,” or “Okay,” but we were hiding something. Something that we – on occasion – talk about with the person(s) asking us the question. We talk about it more often with each other, trying to figure out how to better express ourselves.
“How’s the married life?” is a confusing question for my husband and me. We entered our relationship with no secrets. We talked about everything, we lied about nothing, and to be honest, I wasn’t his first choice, and he wasn’t really on my radar either. When he bought our house, we moved in as “soon-to-be” husband and wife, bringing our dogs, our open relationship, and our habits into the home. Nothing changed from when we first moved in together as “soon-to-be” spouses to when we stepped foot into the house after becoming man and wife.
I already knew his likes and dislikes, his pet peeves, and his triggers. He knew most of mine. We know each other’s routines and schedules, and when things needed to be changed, we’d talk about it.
The only things that changed since the wedding: My last name and our IRS/tax information.
Other than that, we’re the same people we’ve always been with each other. We have our responsibilities, and we have our home renovation dreams. We work through our sticky situations instead of arguing. (We bicker a lot, debate a bit, but we never “fight”. It’s a bit childish to “fight”.)
There is one thing that my husband had to get used to, and now, he feels the same way I do: Wearing the wedding band. He’s got a sexy ring that he’s gotten used to wearing, but when he plays golf, he takes it off. I don’t blame him, I don’t think I could play any sport where I have to wring my hands around something with my rings on. I know it seems like such a small thing, but I don’t need callus on my left hand or additional marking(s) of the wedding ring on my hand. I already have a permanent tan line of my rings. However, we do feel naked without our rings on, and when he reached that point, I think I gaped at him a bit too long. I remember him telling me to “shut up.” HA!
Today is our sixth month of marital bliss. As I think back on the first six months of being a “Mrs.”, I have nothing bad to say about it. I went from a full-time, career-minded woman to a part-time career woman and full-time, family-geared wife. I’m actually surprised to see my transformation. I knew I always wanted a family, but as my husband and I are working on expanding our family, I’ve realized that I’ve turned away from wanting to be successful in the workforce, and I’m happy with have time with him and the puppies.
Don’t get me wrong, I still grump about laundry and dishes, but it’s become more of a game-like routine for me. We’ve gotten into a balance of who does what and when and who can start what and who finishes the task. I still enjoy my alone time, as I get to write and play a few games. It’s not just me; he gets his video game and TV time too.
Speaking of video games. This is something that has been a topic of much interest for my husband and me since we’ve gotten married. Our married friends have this silent war that we end up giving each other the side-eye and -smile. While our male friends enjoy their video game time, their wives tend to – not dislike – HATE video games. I will say this over and over and over again, and I will sound as if I’m not a woman, but this is what I believe in, and I will stand by it. Video gaming is not something to hate. It is a hobby, a creative outlet, and when it is possible, it’s something that husband and wife ought to share. I played on the Playstation, I played (though hated it) on the Xbox; not to mention, I’ve handled almost every handheld gaming device created, and I still play on my computer (that I built for gaming purposes). When my husband had a mentally stressing day at work, I send him to his game room to play Halo, Battlefield, Skyrim, and the like for an hour or two, and I do not mind it.
Why? Because I’d rather have him take all his stress out on the video game and come back down in time for dinner, relaxed, happy, and ready to actually spend quality time with me. (It also gives me enough time to prepare everything for the dinner table.)
As a woman, I know where the women are coming from too, but I truly believe that the women have it wrong when it comes to video games. As a gamer, I can see where the men stand. There’s nothing like taking my aggression out on some skeletons, orcs, or walking mushroom in EverQuest 2 when I’m pissed off. I’d rather take it out on the game than on my husband or puppies. I also love the stories/lore behind many of the video games out there. Final Fantasy, Assassin’s Creed, Elder Scrolls… wonderful background stories. Some of the first-person shooter games have some gut-wrenching, ugly cry-inducing stories too. The way I thought about video games before I became a player is probably the best way for me to explain it to women: Chick flicks. There are some days that you just NEED to watch a chick flick, or else you know when you see your significant other, you’re just going to whine, cry, sob, and gripe about everything. After watching the chick flick, you feel relieved, relaxed, and better from when you started. That’s what video games are. They’re the male version of chick flicks.
Let’s not forget that I do obsess about the collectors’ edition for some of the games, especially Assassin’s Creed series. They release some AWESOME collectibles. Game companies do a lot of research and work to provide story and beautiful pieces of art in video game form. Artistically speaking, some video games are more creative than movies. Movies nowadays are mostly book adaptations. There’s very few original ideas out there. It’s the opposite for video games, if you ask me. (If you stay away from the mainstream games.)
That ends my gaming rant, so back to my original topic. Six months ago, my husband and I promised ourselves to each other, and today, I learn things about him and from him that still blow my mind. Though we were raised in completely different environments, he’s the most humble, down-to-earth, supportive man I’ve met who’s 100% from Sin City. He needs a little bit of conditioning when it comes to country living, but that’s where my Southern country upbringing kicks in. I can openly say that Vegas girls made a mistake by ignoring him, but I’d like to take this time to thank every Vegas girl who ignored him or tossed him to the side. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to snatch him up and win him over. *laughs*
As to the infamous question of “How’s the married life?”, I say:
“I wouldn’t have married him if I knew I wouldn’t be happy. There’s a lot of juggling and line balancing, but that’s why we make such a perfect pair. If I drop a ball, he picks it up. If he starts to teeter, I bounce back and forth to nudge him. We don’t try to change each other, though we see each other’s flaws and peeves. We chip and glue each other together. We accept the other’s bruises, scars, and grey hairs, and allow our individualism to show. When one is under fire, the other will provide cover. We don’t brag about ourselves; rather, we brag about the other. Married life is fun and challenging, but I have the best partner to play the game of Life with.”