Fear

Introduction/Background: This old poem is one I actually remember writing. It was late (10:45pm late), my parents were still at work, and I was alone in the house (with Pol and Princess guarding), sitting at my desk and staring at all the homework splayed about. It was storming, and I was so tired, I started hallucinating. (I would wake up at 5:30am to feed the dogs, fix my dad breakfast, and head out to catch the bus for school… all in all, long story.) This was the product of my sleepy hallucination. Needless to say, after I wrote it, I stopped everything, crawled into bed and slept with a flashlight.


 

“Fear”
by GMDG
(my maiden name)

Rain falls against the window panes
Work piles up on my desk in front of me
Yet, I cannot seem to concentrate on my tasks
Something, someone pulls at me in my mind
Begging to be noticed and spoken to

My eyes are burning now
Aching with a numb flame inside
“It” is now screaming within my brain
The rain outside becomes deafly silent
While the ringing of bells echo in beeps
My papers are now shuffling themselves
Moving away from where I sit

My eyes are throbbing
Stars appearing before me
“It” is kicking behind my skull
Drilling a hole to escape the darkness
The bells are gone, but drums are in
Silvery stars are flashing into nothing
Voices are replacing the drums
I hear too many to pick one
The rain beyond my window joins in chorus

My eyes are blurred now
Unable to focus on anything
“It” has escaped
With “It”, the drilling has ceased
The stars are still
Drums and rain are silent
All but one voice has vanished

You have forgotten me, my dear
You have given up your dream
You have let go of the passion that drives you
Do you not remember the past?
Do you not remember the sheer joy?
Do you not remember me?
You must believe again
You must know I am still here
You must begin to write again
Not for them or for him or her
If only you write for you and me

© GMDG 2003

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