Letters to My Younger Self, Part II

1994 (Younger self is 9 years of age)

Dear Me,

It has been a few years, so you may not remember me. We share the same name, and I’m writing to you because I know what you saw today. You weren’t hallucinating, but yes, you are one of only a few people you will ever meet who are “gifted” or “cursed”.  It was smart thing to not go near it or invite it to play with you and your friends. It was no child, and it was not friendly. You are going through some changes, and they will continue for quite some time. At least until you gain the courage to face what you have been given and to do something about it.

By now, you’ve been having extremely vivid dreams. The ones that I remember with complete detail are the ones of the blizzard of ’93 and of our dad’s trip home to the Philippines. It was not coincidence that you made our parents buy all that extra bread and eggs and soup. It’s a good thing they didn’t think you were crazy. As adults, they knew what the forecast was, and they knew a snow storm was coming, but you knew just how bad it was going to be. You did well by interpreting that giant snowflake exploding over a single house as a bad blizzard hitting a small town. Sometimes literal translation gets lost in the adult world, and I remind myself of what you saw and understood at such a young age to bring me back to reality.

Never be scared or paranoid about telling our parents about your dreams. Our mom will always be skeptic, because as Catholics, constant visions are seen and understood as the works of the Devil. Yet, I will remind you that Saint Joan of Arc was burned as a witch and a heretic after she led the army to victory, claiming that she was led by the voice of God and that she had the blessing of a higher power. Remember when our dad flew home to the Philippines and no one heard from him, whether or not he had arrived safely? You told our mom that everything’s fine and that the plane needed to stop somewhere. You remember that you said that the plane stopped because of something bad, but it’s not dad? It may not have happened yet, but I know what happened that night. You were right. There was a phone call late in the night from family in the Philippines. They said the plane had to take a detour to Hawaii, because someone on the plane had a heart attack or something. You saw it; you knew about it before anyone did.

Many people will not believe you. You will see and know many things before they happen. I will say this much about your “skill”: If/When you know you are looking at the future, when you get that sense of déjà vu, stop everything that you’re doing, close your eyes, count to ten, and change the future. Majority of you see and know are of horrible, terrible, fatal things, and you have the power to change some of them. If you can’t change the future, and you will not be able to save everyone, you can at least ease the blow by knowing what is to come. Do not tell everyone of your “skill,” as not everyone will embrace it. It is not a normal “skill” to have, and though witch hunts and witch trials are things of the past, you will discover something in the future that will scare you to secrecy.

Listen to this piece of advice: Don’t talk to everyone you see. Because of your “skill,” there are more than supposed number of people you see in your daily life, and not all of them are really there. I know everyone looks normal and behave normal, but trust me, not all of them are up to do good. This advice actually goes to both unreal and real people. Not all humans have good intentions; most are good in heart, but you will meet some who are only out to do bad and evil deeds to good people.

Thinking of good and bad, listen to George and Eleanor. They are the greatest teachers with amazing amounts of patience. Pay attention to the stories of the past that George openly shares, especially about the years leading up to World War II and the years after the war. His memory of the time long past is one of many that needs to be remembered and told to future generations. Eleanor’s recipes is a must remember! You must volunteer to help her make her delicious blueberry, made from scratch pancakes and muffins, her divine banana nut bread (made from scratch), and pay attention to her chicken and dumplings, especially the dumplings portion. I still can’t make dumplings like her, and I miss chicken and dumplings. Embrace the hour of watching the Andy Griffith Show with George and do try to learn to whistle when he starts whistling the theme song. That TV show has a lot of moral lessons you will use in your later years, and believe me; it’s better than any TV show in your later years.

Enjoy your visits with Larry, Colleen, and Myrtle. Myrtle won’t be in your life for very long, but she can teach you so many things before her time is up, and you will see her from time to time as your “skill” develops during future visits to their house. She can tell you things about life in the past you wouldn’t be able to begin to understand and imagine!

Larry and Colleen will teach you how to use Cheyenne Pepper to cure achy joints, bruises, sore throats, and other aches and pains. Not to mention that they know how to preserve and can so many different fruits and vegetables to make the perfect jam and the ideal canned tomatoes, seasoned with basil, parsley, and other herbs. My mouth is watering just thinking about their blackberry jam.

Another thing, you’re going to start traveling back and forth between Virginia, Maryland, and New Jersey during holidays and vacations, even during long weekends. Don’t scare the Maryland trio too much with ghost stories. I know you know the park behind their house is “special,” but you don’t need to jump every time you look at the window. You know it’s there; be a good person and don’t scare the younger kids.

With that piece of advice, do not lock Greg in the basement after telling a scary story. Though it was sort of funny, being yelled at afterwards was not, especially when dessert was taken away. Just don’t do it, okay? Besides, the trio do believe everything you say at their young age.

In the next few years, you’re going to slam head first into really painful events. These are going to shape your teen years. However, I don’t think this is the right time to tell you all the details. Just know the following:

You are not alone. Our parents will hurt as much as you. Don’t take the pain out on them, and do NOT take the pain out on yourself.

Keep your eyes open.



© GMDG 2013

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